Friday, September 24, 2010

Scampering Protein Pills

A recent email to my group:

“Today, I awoke as on any other morning. I went into my living
room/kitchen/hammock-clothesline/tool-shed/pantry/library and grabbed the remaining two pieces of bread from the bag that I had slung from my clothes line to avoid the intrusion of those bastard, nearly microscopic brown ants that invade all bread (and everything else) no matter how well hung (he, he, he... well hung)...

Much to my dismay, and as I have just suggested, no level of protection save encasing said bread in epoxy resin between meals can save the food from these little guys. My bread was swarming. What to do...

Now, I admit it. I have been in this situation two times before.

On the first, the half loaf of bread was so well saturated with ants that I threw it out.

On the second, it was late at night and I did not notice the ants until I was sitting down to eat my sandwich, when... hey, what the hell is that?... why is my skin crawling...

oh dear god, I am covered in ants...




So, as much out of spite ("you to NOT swarm MY sandwich covered in REAL peanut butter from the US, bitches!") as frantic hunger (the pantry portion of my living room/etc... was bare), I grabbed my nalgene, said "aw, fuggit" and ate the damn sandwich; ants'n'all.

[Once finished, I felt satisfied and slightly like the Giant in Jack and the Beanstalk.]

Where was I?... oh yes, this morning.

Ants. Two pieces of bread. Hungry. Irritable. Uh, ohhh.

I pop a frying pan on the stove (my toaster), crank the heat, and throw two pieces of bread on. I feel, only slightly bad about the ants who begin their frantic movements... which soon stop.

The bread browns. I remove it. I cover it in Heather's sim-sim, sugar it, and enjoy a long chapter of "The Naked and the Dead" toast and tea before going to school.

Long story short: I've come to view bugs in my food as nothing more than a protein supplement; cheaper and more prevalent than Whey.”

Thanks for reading!

I love you all (But especially you, Michelle!)


1 comment:

  1. Im a Peace Corps Volunteer in Namibia. Im about to finish my service here and we wanna do some traveling. We plan to be in Uganda some time after mid January. Were wondering if you could answer a few questions for us.

    We dont really know many people who have traveled up to Uganda, so we dont really have any leads.

    What are the best things to do in Uganda?

    How much are Visas? Is there any special process we need to know about when buying them?

    Generally how much do food and travel cost?

    Can you free hike, or is that too dangerous? If not what are the general forms of travel, combi, bus, trains, something else?

    Where are the best places to stay?

    What else should we know?

    How many volunteers are there?

    We would appreciate any help you could give us. Please write me back at if you have time.